Since it’s that time of year with plenty of party invitations making their way to your home, I think many of us need a little reminder about RSVP etiquette.

So back home I had a cell phone number and/or email address for just about every one of my kids friends’ parents. Relationships among the parents had been established through preschool, activities, field trips etc. When we threw a party, I had a way to reach out if they didn’t RSVP.

I get it! People are busy! We all have a million things we are trying to do. So I would send a quick text or email checking in if they were coming. After all, most birthday party places require a headcount in advance. I also need to know how many goody bags to put together (or my alternative to goody bags- that blog coming soon). And for home parties, I had a menu to plan and needed a realistic headcount so we wouldn’t be eating leftover hot dogs and chips for the next month.

But now we have relocated to a new home and the game has changed. Both kids are in new schools, and I know very few parents at both schools. I can’t just reach out with a text or email anymore.

First up was my daughter’s birthday party. I let her pick 6 friends from school to invite. I followed the school rules and sent the invitations in her folder to school where the teacher then put them in the corresponding kid’s folders. A week went by and we had only heard from 1 child. I waited another week, and then sent a follow up card to the kids who had not responded, as well as a couple of new invites since I was worried about not having enough friends at her party. We heard back from 1 of those parents. The others still did not text me with a simple “sorry we can’t make it.” It’s just courteous to let a host know! I wasn’t sure if they might just show up.

I’m sure there are parents who thought we had invited the whole class and so it didn’t matter. But Lyla had selected only her best little friends from school, and I couldn’t tell her why they weren’t coming. She seems to be well liked at school, so I didn’t think that was the issue. I was able to track down one mom at school who said they would be coming. By party day we were expecting 3, and then 2 cancelled last minute due to illness. Lyla ended up with only 1 friend from school. I was so disappointed and she was sad too. Luckily our awesome neighbor friends were all here and she ended up with a super fun party. She bonded a lot with the 1 friend from school, and they have continued a close friendship.

Next up was my son Kyler’s birthday last week. He picked 8 friends from school, and we followed protocol once again with folder delivery. This time I added a date to RSVP by the Monday before the party. Yet again, 5 parents just didn’t reply at all. He asked me if they were coming and I told him that I assumed no since they didn’t RSVP, but I wasn’t sure. Again our awesome neighbors beefed up the headcount and he had an awesome party.

We all have busy lives. I understand not attending every party your kid is invited to. However, RSVP does not mean reply if you can…… it means please respond with a yes or a no.

I’ve heard many parents complain about this issue so I felt I should bring it to light. It happens for all occasions, including weddings! For my kids, I was hoping to meet more of the parents from their schools, and create a larger community of friends here in our new home. It was a missed opportunity to start that process.

All in all, it was a lesson on expectations. I know the game has changed for us, at least until we know more people here. We were blessed in the fact that the people that came were fantastic! We made a few new friends, and both our kids were thrilled with their parties. At the end of the day, that’s what really matters.

Mutual respect is awesome- so just RSVP. Come if you can, and politely decline if you can’t. Your Mom will be proud of your manners.

We were really nervous moving into our new neighborhood…. would the new neighbors be cool? Will we fit in? Well the short answer is yes and yes!

I’d love to give Arizona the credit for our amazing neighborhood, but really I think it’s luck of the draw no matter where you are. All but one of our immediate 8 neighbors came over and introduced themselves within a week of us living here. We helped the situation by spending a lot of time in our front yard, making us more approachable.

Cut to last Sunday where I counted 8 kids in my living room. Many of them just walk in without knocking, help themselves to water, and leave their shoes laying around like they live here. And I love it. I may have to vacuum a bit more, and wash some extra cups, but it’s worth it. My kids have several houses to choose from with kids to play with. We definitely didn’t have that before. It’s loud and its fantastic.

Several nights a week you will also find all these kids riding their bikes and scooters in the culdesac. Most have outfitted their bikes with lights, so we can stay out even now that it’s dark early. I love the sound of kids playing outside. I love that they are being active (like kids used to) and not sitting around playing video games. The parents are outside too- all of us chatting or bitching, or just catching up. On the weekends you will find us gathered outside, drink in hand, while the kids run the court. I love getting more adult time, while my kids are active.

So many people say that kids never play outside anymore. That was the case in our old neighborhood, but we were also on a busy street. I love the culdesac life, with less worry about kids getting plowed over. Our kids have very limited screen time, and I think most of the time they would rather run the neighborhood with their friends anyway. They are riding bikes, roller skating (well my 5 year old is trying to), having nerf gun battles, and playing tag. It’s a glimpse at the old normal…. the way things were when we were kids- wow I sound old!

If you don’t know your neighbors it’s never too late to open up the conversation. The holidays are a great excuse to drop off a card or goodies, and meet them. We knew all our neighbors in our old neighborhood- unfortunately there weren’t a bunch of kids in those households. Now our kids are blessed with multiple houses with kids to play with.

There are many days where I still question our choice to move. I miss my friends and family back home. But, it’s days like last Sunday, when my house is full of kids playing hide-and-seek, and then later riding bikes in the court- that I smile. THIS is why we moved. THIS is a better quality of life for my kids- and for us.

If you have ever lived in a house while you are trying to sell it, you feel my pain. I’ve never felt so stressed about a dish in the sink or a bed unmade.

We hired a stager to help us set our house to be “Open House Ready!” She walked through and basically said “this needs to go” to about 75% of the house. The only room she seemed to really approve of was my daughters. She had the matching furniture and cute decor. I was a little insulted that so much of our stuff was not good enough, but we obliged since we wanted our house to sell.

We rented a POD to hold our stuff, and the stager returned and prettied up the place with strategically placed furniture and decor. I’ll admit, when we came home we were impressed. Our little house looked so tidy and quaint. The lack of clutter was calming- I had no idea that the stuff in the house was stressing me out!

The room that made me happiest was our bedroom. Though small, the fancy white bedding made it look so inviting.

We ended up living in that staged house for over 3 months. We made beds every morning, put dishes away every night…… kept up the look as best as we could with a dog and 2 kids! I found that I LOVED our home in that state. Though it lacked some personality (no family pictures etc), it was a happy place to live in.

The big take-away from living in the staged house- we can do better. We can keep the house more tidy. We can make our beds every day. We can do away with a lot of stuff that we don’t need.

Fast forward to our new home. I will say, I’m applying this life lesson daily. Our bed is made almost every day. Dishes are done daily as well. It’s so wonderful to wake up and have an empty sink! Who knew?

I’ve found some compromises in order to keep the house tidy, but also not go insane making it unlivable. When you open our pantry door, you will find artwork from the kids hanging inside– but when it’s closed its a calm, clean space.

Now that we have a larger home, we have an extra room we call the Utility Room (my husbands idea). It’s our office, toy room, back pack drop zone, and craft room. Unfortunately this room doesn’t have a door. Though we keep it tidy, it’s also the space where projects take place so it looks lived in. I hung a sheerISH curtain that allows the light through, but blocks visitors from looking right into this living space.

We are SLOWLY decorating and adding things to make our house a home. I’m keeping it simple and calm- with a kick of personality. One of our friends that had come to see our staged home in California said “It’s nice, but it’s missing your fun family stuff.” She was so right. We are finding the balance in our new home- one step at a time. It’s not easy, especially with little humans running around and both of us parents working- but it’s doable. I’m glad our time living in a staged house brought us a little clarity, and challenged us. We can do better!