This time of year we are flooded with Christmas cards where families look picture perfect- showcasing their best selves. I too sent one of those cards. I mean, who wants to send out a picture of reality???

A perfect example is our photo with Santa. It is super cute.

What it doesn’t show is the lead up to that photo. It started with a trip to Target to get a nice button down for my son and a new pair of PJs for his school performance (that was the costume). What ensued at Target was a back and forth struggle over what PJs would look good at school.

I got so frustrated with my 8 year old. Here I was offering to get him Fortnite pajamas and he was being difficult about it. I told him if he didn’t see what he wanted then his old PJs would have to do! There were tears…. more tears…. and threats made.

I complimented my 5 year old daughter on how patient she was waiting for her brother to get his act together. 20 minutes later we had come to a decision. With an irritated huff I tell them, “let’s go!” and we head to the self check out.

Mid scanning my 2 items I look beside me and only my son is there. I tell him to go back to the end cap where we just were and get his sister. He does and quickly returns to tell me “she isn’t there.” My heart sank. I grabbed my stuff, double checked that she wasn’t still staring at Frozen items, and then yelled her name. No response. I went to the $1 section, and then I see her- RE-ENTERING Target from OUTSIDE, tears streaming, with a woman holding her hand. I yell out to her and she comes running. I hug her and thank the woman as I start to cry.

We had a long talk about how I would NEVER leave the store without her and she should NEVER look for me outside. She thought I had walked out and she was trying to catch up. My mind swarmed with all the things that could have happened, but thankfully did not.

So now that ALL THREE of us had cried at Target, we head home to change. My daughter puts on the dress I set out, and then the shit show of getting my son to wear pants began. He’s starts losing his mind over the fact that I want him to wear jeans with the new button down. I tell him I only pick his outfit twice a year, and this is one of those times. He runs over to the Santa pictures I have hanging chronologically in the living room. “No, I wore shorts the last 2 years when we saw Santa. See???”

I officially lose my cool. I tell him I don’t care anymore (not true), and I’m not going to buy the picture anyway (lie), and why doesn’t anyone ever do what Mom wants (really mature I know), and to hurry your ass the hell up (not proud of that moment). But it’s real people. It’s real.

He goes and gets dressed in a cute button down, faded sweat shorts, and socks in two different colors. I swear it was his version of giving me the finger.

The whole car ride we are in silence. I am in my mind saying “Calm down Jessi. It’s just shorts. It doesn’t matter. Enjoy these special Christmas moments!” Some deep breaths later we arrive at the mall. We find Santa and walk right up. And what does Santa say???? Can you guess???? “Nice shorts buddy! I like em!” Insert palm to head here. I had to laugh. Yes I bought the picture, and added it to the string of pictures with my son in an outfit I didn’t pick.

My son and I hugged and both apologized for our crappy behavior. I can’t stay mad at that kid. And over what? A picture? Some shorts? These things don’t really matter. Big hugs to my Moms out there that can relate. Even if you lose one kid at Target AND cuss at the other one in the same day- you still aren’t doing too bad. I’ll aim to do better tomorrow- promise.

So take these Christmas photos with a grain of salt. Our Santa picture shows no indication of a struggle to get there. We are ALL struggling sometimes. Parenting is tough- especially around the holidays. Enjoy the holidays, and all its imperfections!