Covid-19…… what a mess. The list is endless of the terrible impact it has had on the world. Our lives have been turned upside down in so many ways. My heart aches for those that have lost loved ones, lost their jobs, lost their way in life. It has been a roller-coaster at our household, which is why I haven’t written anything in months.

I’m a planner. A scheduler. A color-coded calendar enthusiast. To say this lack of ability to plan has been a struggle for me is an understatement. I went from a carefully created schedule to a blank Google Calendar. My work was shut down and the kids were stuck home. Nothing was open and there was no date telling us when it would all reopen. We still have no idea when “normal” begins again- unless of course this is the new normal.

I really struggled at first at my inability to make a schedule. I didn’t know how to not plan ahead. I was so stressed even though (in some ways) my life was the calmest it had been in forever. Why couldn’t I just sit back, relax, and enjoy some down time? I wish I knew why. I wish I could just throw my feet up and veg out- but not being productive is not natural to me.

I spent the first month painting my kitchen cabinets… should have taken more pictures and more videos…. would have made a great blog entry- but I didn’t. I kept thinking I might need to go back to work… the kids might go back to school…. my vacation might still happen….. but none of those things happened.

We are 6 months in. The kids school has partially opened. My work re-opened, got shut down, and has reopened again. Some things seem normal- but most things do not. I still think that at any moment all this could get taken away again. The school could close, my work could close, we could get sick! Constant worry over things I have no control over is exhausting. BUT- I do think I’m getting better at managing it.

I make plans in pencil now. I don’t assume next week will look like this week anymore. I’m prepared for the worst but hoping for the best. I’m also watching my kids handle all this better then me. They have their moments- don’t get me wrong. However, they are adjusting to a lack of planning, a lack of schedule, and the reality that things can change at any moment. Hearing them excited to GO to school was heart-warming. They hated online school and I will remind them how much they love GOING to school when the novelty wears off.

I’m getting better with going with the flow. I haven’t mastered this way of life but I’m getting better! We have to adjust or Covid wins another battle.

I hope you and your families are healthy with full tummies. I feel for those getting lost in the shuffle- it simply isn’t fair. I hope that soon we are all back to some sort of normal where all kids are getting the education they need and parents are able to earn the money they need to survive. 2021 HAS to be better- but I won’t plan on it. Making plans is no longer realistic.