This time of year we are flooded with Christmas cards where families look picture perfect- showcasing their best selves. I too sent one of those cards. I mean, who wants to send out a picture of reality???

A perfect example is our photo with Santa. It is super cute.

What it doesn’t show is the lead up to that photo. It started with a trip to Target to get a nice button down for my son and a new pair of PJs for his school performance (that was the costume). What ensued at Target was a back and forth struggle over what PJs would look good at school.

I got so frustrated with my 8 year old. Here I was offering to get him Fortnite pajamas and he was being difficult about it. I told him if he didn’t see what he wanted then his old PJs would have to do! There were tears…. more tears…. and threats made.

I complimented my 5 year old daughter on how patient she was waiting for her brother to get his act together. 20 minutes later we had come to a decision. With an irritated huff I tell them, “let’s go!” and we head to the self check out.

Mid scanning my 2 items I look beside me and only my son is there. I tell him to go back to the end cap where we just were and get his sister. He does and quickly returns to tell me “she isn’t there.” My heart sank. I grabbed my stuff, double checked that she wasn’t still staring at Frozen items, and then yelled her name. No response. I went to the $1 section, and then I see her- RE-ENTERING Target from OUTSIDE, tears streaming, with a woman holding her hand. I yell out to her and she comes running. I hug her and thank the woman as I start to cry.

We had a long talk about how I would NEVER leave the store without her and she should NEVER look for me outside. She thought I had walked out and she was trying to catch up. My mind swarmed with all the things that could have happened, but thankfully did not.

So now that ALL THREE of us had cried at Target, we head home to change. My daughter puts on the dress I set out, and then the shit show of getting my son to wear pants began. He’s starts losing his mind over the fact that I want him to wear jeans with the new button down. I tell him I only pick his outfit twice a year, and this is one of those times. He runs over to the Santa pictures I have hanging chronologically in the living room. “No, I wore shorts the last 2 years when we saw Santa. See???”

I officially lose my cool. I tell him I don’t care anymore (not true), and I’m not going to buy the picture anyway (lie), and why doesn’t anyone ever do what Mom wants (really mature I know), and to hurry your ass the hell up (not proud of that moment). But it’s real people. It’s real.

He goes and gets dressed in a cute button down, faded sweat shorts, and socks in two different colors. I swear it was his version of giving me the finger.

The whole car ride we are in silence. I am in my mind saying “Calm down Jessi. It’s just shorts. It doesn’t matter. Enjoy these special Christmas moments!” Some deep breaths later we arrive at the mall. We find Santa and walk right up. And what does Santa say???? Can you guess???? “Nice shorts buddy! I like em!” Insert palm to head here. I had to laugh. Yes I bought the picture, and added it to the string of pictures with my son in an outfit I didn’t pick.

My son and I hugged and both apologized for our crappy behavior. I can’t stay mad at that kid. And over what? A picture? Some shorts? These things don’t really matter. Big hugs to my Moms out there that can relate. Even if you lose one kid at Target AND cuss at the other one in the same day- you still aren’t doing too bad. I’ll aim to do better tomorrow- promise.

So take these Christmas photos with a grain of salt. Our Santa picture shows no indication of a struggle to get there. We are ALL struggling sometimes. Parenting is tough- especially around the holidays. Enjoy the holidays, and all its imperfections!

I don’t know about your kids, but my son can clog a toilet like no other. We’ve trained him to flush before he wipes, but at age 6, I was confident this was not happening every time.

While staying with my Mom (who’s plumbing is pretty out of date), my son began to repeatedly clog the toilet. Finally, we sat him down.

“First and foremost, your yell for Mom when the toilet is about to overflow needs to sound WAY more urgent…… like you are bleeding. Second, here is the knob you turn to stop the water BEFORE it overflows.”

Luckily he already knew righty tighty, lefty loosey. (Add that to the list of things your kid should know). He learned quickly, and from then on I was at least not mopping up fecal water.

Shortly there after, we taught him how to use the plunger. Now at age 7, about half the time he can handle the entire event of clogging and unclogging the toilet himself. This makes my life easier!

I want my kids to be as independent as possible. In college, so many of my peers had no idea how to do laundry, or write a check. These are fundamental life lessons! Knowing how to turn the water off on a toilet that’s about to overflow might also save your kid from major embarrassment at a friends house. In addition, it might save your bathroom floor from water getting underneath, causing major damage (Sorry Mom, he learned the lesson a little late). So, help your kid and yourself and teach them some basic toilet knowledge! While you’re at it, show them how to put the toilet paper roll on the RIGHT way.

As a Mom it is the little things in life that bring us joy. When our kids don’t fight, getting our hair done, enjoying a clean floor for about 1.5 minutes before kids come in and dirty it again…… and finally, any device or product that makes our life easier! The Instant Pot is just this! I have to share about it because it truly made my life as a Mom and Wife easier!

The hype is real. Game changer- seriously. I resisted the urge to buy one for the longest time. When I finally did I was thrilled. I reached out to my girlfriend Stacey who had recommended I get one forever ago, and she responded with “told you!” She would know. At the time she was raising twin 3 year olds and a 5 year old- all girls! She’s a fitness and health nut, but drowning in keeping it all together like the rest of us. If she says it’s legit- it is. I should have listened to her the year prior when she told me to get one. Moving forward I will always take her advice on things that make life easier!

It does everything- and faster! And sometimes better!!!

My only complaint is that when I got mine it did not come in different colors like it does now! So jealous! Anyway, it is worth the money. I will share some tips on what I use it for, but the list is endless. I can make our chili at the last minute, rice and steamed veggies in no time, shredded chicken, hard boiled eggs- the list goes on. Yes yes, you can buy steam-in-the-bag rice and veggies, but they just don’t taste as good in the microwave. Plus, you can’t buy fresh veggies for the microwave!

Before we moved to Arizona we sold our house in California and moved in with my Mom. We brought our clothes, some toys for the kids, and the Instant Pot. A month later my husband moved to Arizona ahead of us, and wanted to take the Instant Pot with him. Ladies, we know who won that battle. IP stayed with me! Hubby had to make do for 3 months without it!

Give yourself a Christmas gift and enjoy!

When I was a kid I dreaded writing Thank You cards- but my Mom made me do it anyway. It took forever, I never knew what to write, and it seemed pointless……. but now I get it.

Now that we live far away from almost all our relatives, I know the Thank You card holds even more value. In the past, I’ve sent a text message to whoever gave the gift, with a picture of my kid holding or wearing the gift, with a nice message. I think it’s not a bad option and it serves its purpose in saying “Thank You.”

BUT, what am I teaching my kids? Leading by example…. yes? In order to really teach them the value in saying thanks, I made a change after my sons last fundraiser.

We received a lot of donations from friends and family, far more generous than expected. I didn’t feel a text was enough. So, I sat my 7 year old down with 10 note cards and set him to work. “Can’t we just write one card and photocopy it?” He asked me. He’s a smart cookie that kid. I explained that a handwritten note is much more personal and it would make people feel happy! And, I reminded him that his birthday and Christmas are coming- so it’s good to leave an appreciative impression on those generous friends and family members. =)

He did a decent job on the cards…..and then we took the pile to the post office, bought stamps, and he placed them on each card. You could see he took some pride in his work and I was happy to assist in the process.

In the busy lives we lead, a little effort goes a long way. We are all so overly connected with our devices, yet totally isolated from each other at the same time. I’m trying to find ways to keep things the “way they used to be,” while raising kids in the world that is NOT the world I grew up in.

I mentioned this act of Thank You cards to some of my Pilates clients and it opened the floodgates! Apparently the act of writing Thank You cards is getting lost. One client said she had attended 6 weddings last year, each couple was given a gift, and she only received 1 Thank You card! “That’s so tacky!” One client said. Everyone nodded in agreement. The other clients chimed in that that has been their experience as well. I really struck a chord with this topic- all my clients were obviously irritated and disappointed in the lack of appreciation these days. It’s not just our kids that need the reminder, but us adults too. Gratitude is so important! Those small acts of kindness go a long way with people.

I challenge all of us to take the time to show appreciation to others. My Mom instilled this value in me, and I want to make sure my kids know how important it is. Just doing my part to raise good humans!