I spent about a year dealing with ridiculously terrible periods. By ridiculous I mean horrible. I mean bleed through your pants all over your white comforter kind. I mean periods lasting 4-6 weeks. I mean always bringing a sweatshirt with you in case you bleed through the ULTRA TAMPON you put in right before you left the house. Yes- really that bad.

After a few months of rough periods I went to the doctor. She did some blood work and we agreed to watch it for a few more months. Things only got worse so I went back. They did an ultrasound and discovered a fibroid. Super common and not a big deal, but it can cause the heavy bleeding. The doctor nonchalantly told me I could get a hysterectomy, or try ablation…. (the list went on but I didn’t hear her because all I heard was HYSTERECTOMY).

That seemed so extreme. Surgery??? The bleeding was bad but that seemed crazy to me.

I opted to try a different birth control and planned to skip the “sugar” pills and see if my period would just go away. Wishful thinking. It was great for 9 weeks and then BAM! Crazy heavy bleeding for 5 weeks.

Keep in mind that I teach dance and Pilates. I would find myself rushing to the bathroom because I could feel the blood clots coming out of me. At a dance rehearsal I looked down to see that I had bled through my shorts. I knew if I jumped too much I would bleed during dance so I was forced to hold back.

I went back to the doctor and they did another ultrasound and determined that the location of my fibroid indicated that it was not the cause of my bleeding….. so what now? She suggested that I stop skipping the “sugar” pills and take it the regular way and try and get my body back to a normal routine. I was doubtful this would work. I remember asking “What if this doesn’t work?” and the doctor said “I’m really confident it will work.”

The following week was “sugar” pill week and I took them as prescribed. 4 days later, it all went to hell. I started with some minimal spotting and thought that was normal. The next thing I knew I was passing golf ball size clots. The clots started getting bigger and bigger by the hour. I bled through my clothes and decided to take a shower to clean up. As I attempted to clean myself with the shower head, the blood would not stop- it was continuing to flow non-stop. Now I was scared.

On the way to the ER I passed out and did not come to. My amazing friend Nicole pulled over, called 911 and began mouth to mouth since I did not seem to be breathing. I woke up and remained in a daze as she drove the remaining mile to the hospital.

Long story short, I ended up needing 3 blood transfusions and spent the night in the hospital. They gave me some medication to stop the bleeding and told me to go back to my OB.

That event scared me enough to do something that I had previously thought was dramatic. My OB agreed that a hysterectomy was the only way to ensure my ER trip would never happen again.

As I started to share about my heavy period, ER story, and decision about getting a hysterectomy with my clients and friends, I was floored how many could relate. Countless comments of “Oh my best friend just had that surgery,” “I had a hysterectomy last year,” “I ended up in the ER for the same reason a few years ago,” “Oh yes, I had an ablation to take care of that same issue,” “Yeah my Mom just had a hysterectomy.”

REALLY?? Why did I think I didn’t know ANYONE that was going through my awful year of period torture- yet it now seemed so common?! Why is no one talking about this? Why did I think a hysterectomy was not a common surgery? Why was I not sharing how terrible my year had been with most people (other then my closest friends)? Why as women are we not sharing our stories more so others don’t feel so alone?

Well that is why I am sharing my story. I did end up getting a hysterectomy and I couldn’t be happier. I spent the last year so stressed about my period. It was interfering in my exercise, sex life, and overall stress level. I was trying to deal with it the best I could until that ER trip. Once those heavy periods became life threatening, the game changed.

If you are dealing with the same thing- find a good OB. I went through a handful this last year trying to find an answer. Between office visits, my ER trip, and a few consultations, I met several. I had numerous ultrasounds and bloodwork done. No one ever found the reason WHY I was having the heavy bleeding. At this point I’m just happy it’s over. I pray my daughter doesn’t deal with the same thing. But I will share my story with her and others.

Talk of heavy periods, clotting, and all things vagina need to be shared among us women! You are not alone if you are carrying a sweatshirt with you everywhere just in case you bleed through. I see you and understand the struggle. Keep talking to doctors until you find a solution that works for you. And talk to your friends- I bet someone else is going through the same thing.

Covid-19…… what a mess. The list is endless of the terrible impact it has had on the world. Our lives have been turned upside down in so many ways. My heart aches for those that have lost loved ones, lost their jobs, lost their way in life. It has been a roller-coaster at our household, which is why I haven’t written anything in months.

I’m a planner. A scheduler. A color-coded calendar enthusiast. To say this lack of ability to plan has been a struggle for me is an understatement. I went from a carefully created schedule to a blank Google Calendar. My work was shut down and the kids were stuck home. Nothing was open and there was no date telling us when it would all reopen. We still have no idea when “normal” begins again- unless of course this is the new normal.

I really struggled at first at my inability to make a schedule. I didn’t know how to not plan ahead. I was so stressed even though (in some ways) my life was the calmest it had been in forever. Why couldn’t I just sit back, relax, and enjoy some down time? I wish I knew why. I wish I could just throw my feet up and veg out- but not being productive is not natural to me.

I spent the first month painting my kitchen cabinets… should have taken more pictures and more videos…. would have made a great blog entry- but I didn’t. I kept thinking I might need to go back to work… the kids might go back to school…. my vacation might still happen….. but none of those things happened.

We are 6 months in. The kids school has partially opened. My work re-opened, got shut down, and has reopened again. Some things seem normal- but most things do not. I still think that at any moment all this could get taken away again. The school could close, my work could close, we could get sick! Constant worry over things I have no control over is exhausting. BUT- I do think I’m getting better at managing it.

I make plans in pencil now. I don’t assume next week will look like this week anymore. I’m prepared for the worst but hoping for the best. I’m also watching my kids handle all this better then me. They have their moments- don’t get me wrong. However, they are adjusting to a lack of planning, a lack of schedule, and the reality that things can change at any moment. Hearing them excited to GO to school was heart-warming. They hated online school and I will remind them how much they love GOING to school when the novelty wears off.

I’m getting better with going with the flow. I haven’t mastered this way of life but I’m getting better! We have to adjust or Covid wins another battle.

I hope you and your families are healthy with full tummies. I feel for those getting lost in the shuffle- it simply isn’t fair. I hope that soon we are all back to some sort of normal where all kids are getting the education they need and parents are able to earn the money they need to survive. 2021 HAS to be better- but I won’t plan on it. Making plans is no longer realistic.

I remember being a kid and thinking 40 was so old. Maybe 10 years ago I remember thinking how different life would be by the time I was 40. Well it is! But in such a fantastic way. Not in the way I expected.

My husband and I just got back from a weekend away together. I’d love to say we do that all the time- but we almost never do. One of the reasons we left California was with the hopes of more time together- more traveling and more dates! It’s taking us a little while to get into that groove, but this weekend was a great start.

At some point on Friday night I looked at my husband and said “We ARE still fun!” I had truly forgotten that I could let loose and be care free. It’s easy to forget when you are up to your chin in responsibilities. My mind is constantly spinning with where the kids need to be, what bills need to be paid, and what in the house needs to be taken care of. We forget that we can be sexy and fun!!!

“They” say that your marriage needs to come first, but it’s hard. It’s hard to prioritize a date over stuff that the kids need. But this weekend was a wake up call. I feel reconnected to my husband. I found a piece of me that’s been missing for a few years. We even renewed our vows with Elvis while we were there. I mean- why not?

Last night we came home from Vegas, and both our children are sick with the flu. Today, my actual birthday, was spent with both kids-sitting on the couch watching movies and doing crafts. Tonight I cooked dinner with my Mom, and plan to enjoy it together along with my husband tonight. I can’t complain.

I’m realizing more and more how many hats I wear. My Mom hat has been a BIG GIANT TEXAS hat…..but my wife, friend, daughter hats are big too. I need to find more balance in my life. I’ve always worked hard and played hard- but we need to play MORE! We are planning our next weekend get away to keep this trend going. I have 2 girls trips in the works for this year too- can’t wait.

I’ve been dreading turning 40, but now that it’s here I’m thrilled. Shakira and J-Lo reminded me in their performance last week that being 40 doesn’t mean I need to hang up my sexy hat and stay home and drink tea (though I do love tea!) I need to make more time to enjoy life! I’ve got a lot of great things going on in my life- AND a lot more to figure out. But, I have a great feeling about this decade! 40- I’m ready to embrace you!

It’s that wonderful time of year full of holiday festivities! There are countless Christmas events, parties and performances. I swear it brings out the best… and worst in people. The happier people seem extra cheerful and the grumpy people extra pissed off.

Tonight we went to my son’s 2nd grade holiday performance at school. His “costume” was pajamas and holiday accessories. He was decked out and looked adorable. We dropped him off at his classroom and went to find some seats.

We had to sit in the back row, but I knew my son was on one of the top risers and I would still be able to see him. We anxiously waited in the auditorium for all the kids to enter.

As they walked into the stage area, parents frantically waved at their kids. Kyler spotted us and we waved as he gave us a nervous smile. He’s super outgoing, but these performances at school seem to always make him uneasy.

Parents stood up and took pictures of their kids standing with their classmates. We all love our kids and want to capture all the special moments. I get it. But there always has to be a few parents that take it too far. And we witnessed just this as the show began.

See exhibit A. Please don’t be this guy at the Christmas show.

For ALMOST THE ENTIRE SHOW he held his phone up high, destroying our line of sight to the stage. Of the 30 minute performance he put his phone down a couple of times, totaling maybe 5 minutes. These breaks were while children that clearly weren’t his, recited their lines. I also think he was resting his arms. It’s hard work holding a phone above shoulder height that long!

Had he been sitting in the back row, I’d be more understanding. Yet even us, sitting in the back row, had people standing behind us that we wanted to be respectful of. There were numerous people trying to shift their angle to see better, strictly because he needed to film every second that his daughter was singing or saying her lines onstage.

It took everything in my husband not to smack the phone down out of his hands. It was just so inconsiderate to all of us sitting behind him. I honestly think he didn’t even consider looking behind himself to see if he would be obstructing anyone’s view. I just don’t understand this behavior in grown ups.

I was digging deep to find the words to ask nicely that he stop being a self centered asshole- but couldn’t find the right words. In my experience, people this oblivious don’t usually respond well when confronted. I didn’t want to make a scene…. and I was happy listening and leaning just the right way to see my son onstage. Insert eye roll here.

So please, don’t be that guy at the show. Everyone in the audience is there to see someone they love. Not just you. Take your picture or your quick video, and then WATCH! Enjoy the moment people! Oh and, Happy Holidays!

Since it’s that time of year with plenty of party invitations making their way to your home, I think many of us need a little reminder about RSVP etiquette.

So back home I had a cell phone number and/or email address for just about every one of my kids friends’ parents. Relationships among the parents had been established through preschool, activities, field trips etc. When we threw a party, I had a way to reach out if they didn’t RSVP.

I get it! People are busy! We all have a million things we are trying to do. So I would send a quick text or email checking in if they were coming. After all, most birthday party places require a headcount in advance. I also need to know how many goody bags to put together (or my alternative to goody bags- that blog coming soon). And for home parties, I had a menu to plan and needed a realistic headcount so we wouldn’t be eating leftover hot dogs and chips for the next month.

But now we have relocated to a new home and the game has changed. Both kids are in new schools, and I know very few parents at both schools. I can’t just reach out with a text or email anymore.

First up was my daughter’s birthday party. I let her pick 6 friends from school to invite. I followed the school rules and sent the invitations in her folder to school where the teacher then put them in the corresponding kid’s folders. A week went by and we had only heard from 1 child. I waited another week, and then sent a follow up card to the kids who had not responded, as well as a couple of new invites since I was worried about not having enough friends at her party. We heard back from 1 of those parents. The others still did not text me with a simple “sorry we can’t make it.” It’s just courteous to let a host know! I wasn’t sure if they might just show up.

I’m sure there are parents who thought we had invited the whole class and so it didn’t matter. But Lyla had selected only her best little friends from school, and I couldn’t tell her why they weren’t coming. She seems to be well liked at school, so I didn’t think that was the issue. I was able to track down one mom at school who said they would be coming. By party day we were expecting 3, and then 2 cancelled last minute due to illness. Lyla ended up with only 1 friend from school. I was so disappointed and she was sad too. Luckily our awesome neighbor friends were all here and she ended up with a super fun party. She bonded a lot with the 1 friend from school, and they have continued a close friendship.

Next up was my son Kyler’s birthday last week. He picked 8 friends from school, and we followed protocol once again with folder delivery. This time I added a date to RSVP by the Monday before the party. Yet again, 5 parents just didn’t reply at all. He asked me if they were coming and I told him that I assumed no since they didn’t RSVP, but I wasn’t sure. Again our awesome neighbors beefed up the headcount and he had an awesome party.

We all have busy lives. I understand not attending every party your kid is invited to. However, RSVP does not mean reply if you can…… it means please respond with a yes or a no.

I’ve heard many parents complain about this issue so I felt I should bring it to light. It happens for all occasions, including weddings! For my kids, I was hoping to meet more of the parents from their schools, and create a larger community of friends here in our new home. It was a missed opportunity to start that process.

All in all, it was a lesson on expectations. I know the game has changed for us, at least until we know more people here. We were blessed in the fact that the people that came were fantastic! We made a few new friends, and both our kids were thrilled with their parties. At the end of the day, that’s what really matters.

Mutual respect is awesome- so just RSVP. Come if you can, and politely decline if you can’t. Your Mom will be proud of your manners.

We were really nervous moving into our new neighborhood…. would the new neighbors be cool? Will we fit in? Well the short answer is yes and yes!

I’d love to give Arizona the credit for our amazing neighborhood, but really I think it’s luck of the draw no matter where you are. All but one of our immediate 8 neighbors came over and introduced themselves within a week of us living here. We helped the situation by spending a lot of time in our front yard, making us more approachable.

Cut to last Sunday where I counted 8 kids in my living room. Many of them just walk in without knocking, help themselves to water, and leave their shoes laying around like they live here. And I love it. I may have to vacuum a bit more, and wash some extra cups, but it’s worth it. My kids have several houses to choose from with kids to play with. We definitely didn’t have that before. It’s loud and its fantastic.

Several nights a week you will also find all these kids riding their bikes and scooters in the culdesac. Most have outfitted their bikes with lights, so we can stay out even now that it’s dark early. I love the sound of kids playing outside. I love that they are being active (like kids used to) and not sitting around playing video games. The parents are outside too- all of us chatting or bitching, or just catching up. On the weekends you will find us gathered outside, drink in hand, while the kids run the court. I love getting more adult time, while my kids are active.

So many people say that kids never play outside anymore. That was the case in our old neighborhood, but we were also on a busy street. I love the culdesac life, with less worry about kids getting plowed over. Our kids have very limited screen time, and I think most of the time they would rather run the neighborhood with their friends anyway. They are riding bikes, roller skating (well my 5 year old is trying to), having nerf gun battles, and playing tag. It’s a glimpse at the old normal…. the way things were when we were kids- wow I sound old!

If you don’t know your neighbors it’s never too late to open up the conversation. The holidays are a great excuse to drop off a card or goodies, and meet them. We knew all our neighbors in our old neighborhood- unfortunately there weren’t a bunch of kids in those households. Now our kids are blessed with multiple houses with kids to play with.

There are many days where I still question our choice to move. I miss my friends and family back home. But, it’s days like last Sunday, when my house is full of kids playing hide-and-seek, and then later riding bikes in the court- that I smile. THIS is why we moved. THIS is a better quality of life for my kids- and for us.

If you have ever lived in a house while you are trying to sell it, you feel my pain. I’ve never felt so stressed about a dish in the sink or a bed unmade.

We hired a stager to help us set our house to be “Open House Ready!” She walked through and basically said “this needs to go” to about 75% of the house. The only room she seemed to really approve of was my daughters. She had the matching furniture and cute decor. I was a little insulted that so much of our stuff was not good enough, but we obliged since we wanted our house to sell.

We rented a POD to hold our stuff, and the stager returned and prettied up the place with strategically placed furniture and decor. I’ll admit, when we came home we were impressed. Our little house looked so tidy and quaint. The lack of clutter was calming- I had no idea that the stuff in the house was stressing me out!

The room that made me happiest was our bedroom. Though small, the fancy white bedding made it look so inviting.

We ended up living in that staged house for over 3 months. We made beds every morning, put dishes away every night…… kept up the look as best as we could with a dog and 2 kids! I found that I LOVED our home in that state. Though it lacked some personality (no family pictures etc), it was a happy place to live in.

The big take-away from living in the staged house- we can do better. We can keep the house more tidy. We can make our beds every day. We can do away with a lot of stuff that we don’t need.

Fast forward to our new home. I will say, I’m applying this life lesson daily. Our bed is made almost every day. Dishes are done daily as well. It’s so wonderful to wake up and have an empty sink! Who knew?

I’ve found some compromises in order to keep the house tidy, but also not go insane making it unlivable. When you open our pantry door, you will find artwork from the kids hanging inside– but when it’s closed its a calm, clean space.

Now that we have a larger home, we have an extra room we call the Utility Room (my husbands idea). It’s our office, toy room, back pack drop zone, and craft room. Unfortunately this room doesn’t have a door. Though we keep it tidy, it’s also the space where projects take place so it looks lived in. I hung a sheerISH curtain that allows the light through, but blocks visitors from looking right into this living space.

We are SLOWLY decorating and adding things to make our house a home. I’m keeping it simple and calm- with a kick of personality. One of our friends that had come to see our staged home in California said “It’s nice, but it’s missing your fun family stuff.” She was so right. We are finding the balance in our new home- one step at a time. It’s not easy, especially with little humans running around and both of us parents working- but it’s doable. I’m glad our time living in a staged house brought us a little clarity, and challenged us. We can do better!

When you tell people you are moving out of state, everyone has an opinion.

“WHY would you leave California??”

“I’m so jealous! I wish I could leave!”

“Your poor Mom! She’s going to miss her Grandkids!”

“You can probably get a mansion there!”

“You know how hot it is in Arizona??”

Most of the comments were not super positive. I like to think that’s because people didn’t want us to leave. But it was draining at times. I took some comments too personally due to the emotions of leaving. One comment really stuck with me for some reason.

The words that still haunt me at times came from a friend. “I just think I would be hanging out in my big ass house, and be like, Great! I have no family or friends here. What’s the point of that?” I understood why she was saying that, and it was one of my biggest fears. We majorly upgraded the home we live in by moving- but yes we don’t have all the local family to share it with as regularly. BUT, we have had SO many visitors in the short time we have been here. Why? Because they LOVE us! Haha- true. But also we have a guest room now! My mother in law pointed out that she felt like she got more time with the kids by visiting for 3 short days, then when she stayed a week at a hotel. She was here for tuck in and wake up…… and everything in between.

At times I still struggle with some of the comments I received from people before we moved…… but I know we did the right thing for us. It will take awhile for all the pieces to fall into place. Sometimes I do sit in my big house and feel really lonely, and wonder what the hell we did. But most of the time I’m happy with our new life here in Arizona!

In the process of moving, I had very little emotion. At my final recital, my dance students were bawling their eyes out, and I was somehow numb. It didn’t seem real that I was leaving…. and I knew I would see most of them again. (I was already scheduled to come back a few months later to set choreography). But I still didn’t understand my lack of emotion.

Leaving my parents and closest friend, I was sad- but still I didn’t cry. The stress of selling our home and buying a new one, all while trying to work and be a decent parent- I was stretched thin. I couldn’t feel anything.

And then, about 3 weeks after moving, I fell apart. 

My husband was on the toilet, I walked in with a frown, and burst into tears. He reached his arms out. I sat on his lap in the bathroom and cried and cried. He knew why.

It was 4th of July. We always hosted 4th of July back home. Our friends would come over and we would walk to watch fireworks. And now here we were in Arizona without a friend in sight. What were we thinking? Why did we leave all the good things in our lives? Why did I rip my kids away from their grandparents and friends? 

I was at a loss. My emotions finally caught up with me. BUT the day did get better. Jason had bought a pack of fireworks (that would have been illegal in Cali), and we went out front to light them up. Several of our neighbors were out too. We got to chatting with a few of them, and a weight got lifted off my shoulders. We were going to be OK.

I still have my moments of questioning our decision to move….. but for the most part I know it was the right decision for our family. My parents are visiting often and 2 friends are scheduled to come visit in the next few months. I can’t lie and say moving is easy. It’s super hard. But I believe that the hard things in life are some of the best things in life. Our story is only beginning- and I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Being born and raised in California, I swore I would never leave. Why would I? Family is close…. the weather is amazing… there is so much to do…. we have a community of friends…. but time took its toll on my relationship with California.   

 My husband was working 2 jobs just so we could be comfortable. I was working a little more then part time, and taking care of our 2 kids. We weren’t taking lavish vacations, or splurging on crazy nights out- yet we were JUST getting by. How is that possible? 

 California is an expensive place to live. There seemed to be no end in sight to the cost of living. Gas prices and taxes were climbing constantly. After months and months of discussion, we finally made the decision to move. Our home had doubled in value in the 9 years we had owned it, so we knew we would be ahead if we sold. And thus our adventure began! 

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