Emotions of Moving

In the process of moving, I had very little emotion. At my final recital, my dance students were bawling their eyes out, and I was somehow numb. It didn’t seem real that I was leaving…. and I knew I would see most of them again. (I was already scheduled to come back a few months later to set choreography). But I still didn’t understand my lack of emotion.

Leaving my parents and closest friend, I was sad- but still I didn’t cry. The stress of selling our home and buying a new one, all while trying to work and be a decent parent- I was stretched thin. I couldn’t feel anything.

And then, about 3 weeks after moving, I fell apart. 

My husband was on the toilet, I walked in with a frown, and burst into tears. He reached his arms out. I sat on his lap in the bathroom and cried and cried. He knew why.

It was 4th of July. We always hosted 4th of July back home. Our friends would come over and we would walk to watch fireworks. And now here we were in Arizona without a friend in sight. What were we thinking? Why did we leave all the good things in our lives? Why did I rip my kids away from their grandparents and friends? 

I was at a loss. My emotions finally caught up with me. BUT the day did get better. Jason had bought a pack of fireworks (that would have been illegal in Cali), and we went out front to light them up. Several of our neighbors were out too. We got to chatting with a few of them, and a weight got lifted off my shoulders. We were going to be OK.

I still have my moments of questioning our decision to move….. but for the most part I know it was the right decision for our family. My parents are visiting often and 2 friends are scheduled to come visit in the next few months. I can’t lie and say moving is easy. It’s super hard. But I believe that the hard things in life are some of the best things in life. Our story is only beginning- and I can’t wait to see what happens next!